note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
