If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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