She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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