if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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