You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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