Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
