i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
