Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize