too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I know her cup size but not her name....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
