I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
