Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She needs sedatives and a leash
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
