I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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