One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
