Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
