I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
