I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
