the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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