I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
