chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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