By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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