OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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