Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize