Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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