I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Randomize
