Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
