just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize