Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
