4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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