my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
