Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
