Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
