their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
