She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
FUCK WHALES
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
