Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
