Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
