i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize