my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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