my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
