i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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