we have officially lost it.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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