I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
