This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Help. Why am I so naked?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
