Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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