dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it was like eating out sand paper
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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