discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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