Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
