Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize