I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Oh god it's open bar.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
