Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize