so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
we should paint friendship bongs
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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