i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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