Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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