I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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