neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
