8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
