wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
