Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
