Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize