I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
