he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
birth control should be required to get into college
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
