just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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